Starting out in a new relationship seems so easy sometimes because you’re trying to get to know the person, and letting them get to know you, you want them to get to know you, you let them in dropping your mental guard.
You desire to know them and desire for them to know you. So you give yourself in fully not holding back anything. Or perhaps they have to gain your trust before you open up but you find that it is easy to trust them.
Over time your relationship is developing you know each other, you know what each other enjoy and dislike. You have probably fallen into a pattern of behavior toward one another. After all humans are creatures of habit.
Especially when we are comfortable. This is good you become comfortable together you get more comfortable with your spouse. You are happy, you think they are happy, I mean they look happy.
Bumps in the road
All relationships have bumps in the road. It depends on what you do when those bumps come along do you abandoned ship or do you recommit yourself to your loved one. Do you work things out or let the ship sail away.
That choice is up to you I’d like to encourage you to work things out. People don’t fall out of love the forget why they love the person. Sometimes relationships don’t work because their not made to work.
And sometime they are not meant to work. These circumstances are very clear when it is not going to work. The best thing for you to do is wish them well hope that they find someone who they want to be dedicated to.
The worst thing to do in a marriage is give up when bumps come. So if you are fighting for your marriage fight hard. Fight to show your love, fight for the ones you love.
Smoothing things out
So if you have decide to try to smooth things out I’m happy you chose to try. Try to find each other again, do things you know the other person enjoys, even if you don’t that is love. Love is an action not an emotion.
So the best way to patch things up is to show love. Show that you care and want the relationship to be successful. The best method of attack on bumps in a relationship is to communicate and both individuals work on what is coming between you.
Sometimes it is hard to be self motivated as well to stay motivated in time of trouble I hope this article helps you with your problems and helps you stay motivated to fixing your issues with your spouse.
I realize it is hard to stay motivated yourself in a hard situation. But try to encourage your spouse to love with love. Sex is not the answer in this case and is not what I mean when I say love them.
Do things they enjoy go out somewhere or stay inside and cook for them, break your everyday pattern. Show them they are special to you and that they come first before work, or bills, let them know that they are important to you.
I realize it is hard for a lot of people but being married is supposed to be selfless act. Showing that you care for your spouse just like you care for yourself. Going into any relationship with a me, me, me, kind of attitude will kill any development of your relationship.
Developing this attitude in the middle of a relationship will kill it as well. It is not the way we are supposed to be or act towards our spouses.
Communicating is Key
In any relationship communication is key for development and growth. As well a maintenance of the relationship communicating can help you smooth out those bumps. Overcome obstacle that you face as a couple.
Talking- communicating with your spouse not arguing just talking in a room level voice, keeping calm not letting your emotions get the best of you. Using self discipline biting your tongue until the other makes their point then make yours while considering their’s
Talking means listening too, not just one listening to the other but both listening to each other. Communicating and talking means that both get to speak and to be heard. Arguing is is one speaks the other listens and that is it.
Arguing is not communicating it is being selfish and stubborn. Unwilling to listen or to understand
Venting- venting is something that get annoying sometimes. But everyone does it it is how we blow off steam. Letting go of that pent up anger it is important.
That when your spouse is venting don’t get angry at what they are saying. You need to pay attention don’t take it personal. Let them know you are their if they need to vent. Venting is just letting go of frustration
Before you start vent let the other person know you are venting. So you don’t catch them in random mood or so they don’t think you are starting argument. Venting is part of communication letting go of social frustration that we have build up in the day.
Understanding is another important part of communicating understanding is not just listening but comprehending what your spouses issues really are. Knowing our spouses issues so we can help them deal with attacking one individuals problems together as a couple.
Understanding is important in any relationship it is how we help each other. Understanding each others problems and concerns. It help with addressing the issues and concerns of our partner and show that we care.
Use you skills to communicate with you partener don’t be deterred by bumps in the road when a bump comes up don’t put it on the back burner, deal with it as a couple head on. This way your time together will be good it will strengthen your relationship.
Use your communication skill to keep up with your spouse. Know them and what they want expect being understanding when they are talking venting and communicating to you sometime all people need/want is some of your time.
Stand together keep communicating with each other.
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